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first of all WHO is asking this second why did they say jake gyllenhaal and not jack twist
Oh that reminds me! I almost forgot to cast my spell of DAMAGE AND HARM on british people
To balance the sacred energies I channel the resulting backlash. DISCOMFORT UPON AMERICANS
Cackling.
ALTIn case the original goes away:
Text version:
Washington State Department of Natural resources tweets:
(Falling to my knees, begging, pleading)
Please.
Folks, seriously.
PLEASE.
Do not - and I can’t emphasize this enough - set the state on fire this weekend.
Fire danger is abnormally high this holiday weekend.
URGING you to consider firework alternatives:
- screaming “bang! boom!” at the sky
- dropping a stack of large books on the floor
- wrapping a toga around a candle
- play America the Beautiful while combining Coke and Mentos
Follow up:
A woman in West Virginia snapped a one-in-a-million shot of a tree being struck by lightning.
perilously confident fandom url: “fun fact! suffering is actually a recent invention. prior to capitalism, everyone basically only did about 4 hours of work per day because CEOs hadn’t been discovered yet ❤️”
thanks to this workplace harassment training video my coworkers and I now say this to each other on a near-daily basis